I’m so sorry about such an absence! I’ve been working on getting myself distracted and binge/purge free and guess what?! TODAY IS DAY 8!!! I have been b/p free for an entire week now and I feel like it is getting easier and easier. I feel a lot more happier and better about myself. Yesterday I met up with some friends from college and we went to NYC to see a pretty cool play and hung out. Tonight I’m going to my friends birthday. Hence, my social life has also been on a rise.
I’m definitely feeling more ambitious too, trying research different careers, preparing for next semester. And overall, I’ve been pretty satisfied with life ♥
Also, last Thursday I spent the night crying. My mom came home after work and she told me about a girl she saw, in her mid 20s, a girl with an eating disorder. I’ve seen my mom tear, I’ve seen my mom mad, seen her happy and sad and excited and tired. But I have never seen her legitimately cry like a little girl. She was scared for me and she felt terrible. She described the girl’s skeleton body, a hole in her stomach, inability to ever have children, neither dead nor alive.
I’ve never felt so bad before. How could I have been so selfish? How could I hurt my Mom so much? She is my Mom, my best friend, my hero, and the closest person to me. I wish I would have thought about it the first time I have ever purged. That night moved me. By then I have already been b/p free for a little and had no plans of ever doing it, but nevertheless, it moved me.
I hope all of you are having a wonderful weekend ♥ Stay strong, stay healthy.
Love, V
This is incredibly sad and triggering but it also helps a lot. This is something you don’t want to have. This is the reason why we must fight to be ourselves once again and to get our beautiful lives back!
Today is just wonderful. The weather is miraculous with no humidity whatsoever. And it’s not too hot or too cold. It’s gorgeously content at 80 degr.
Past two days have been b/p free :D And today will be too :) I went to the beach both days and hung out with my family. I had a couple of mental breakdowns but that didn’t stop me from having a great time. And yesterday I began to realize that I am who I am and I don’t want to change it. There’s no reason to be anybody but myself. And that self is naturally happy.
Therefore, no stupid disorder will ruin me, my mood, and my life!
Also, I hope that all of you had an amazing weekend and I hope that today will be the new best day of your life! Keep strong <3